Cartoon.
For this week’s group blog topic (which I’m a few days late on), Shara asked us, “Which cartoon character are you most like and why?”
Well that’s a tough one for me. I’ve never been a huge cartoon or animated movie fan. Instead, I was one of those kids who preferred the puppet shows along the lines of Fraggle Rock, Sesame Street, Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, The Muppet Show…So instead of choosing a cartoon character, I’m going to choose a muppet…and my choice is…
Bert from Sesame Street. And here’s why.
Bert is one of those guys who is incredibly anal-retentive but has a humorous side. He knows how to get things done and is very particular about how he does them, although it can be slightly slow. When he lets his guard down he dances and sings…and he has very, very bushy eyebrows. Seeing as how I complain about my brows all of the time, the comparison is fitting.
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Tags: bert, fraggle rock, mr. roger's neighborhood, muppet, sesame street
Brain Fart
This week’s question comes from Lil who wanted to know what my biggest brain fart moment has been…
…and there are two that currently tie for first place!
In the beginning of my pregnancy, I was an idiot. My brain wasn’t in the right place for a whole multitude of reasons, hormones and the major life event looming in the distance being the biggest. Literally the day after we cheated and took a home pregnancy test instead of waiting for the doctor, brain fart #1 happened.
I was standing in our living room talking to my sister who was in town and staying with us. I walked over to the counter, picked up my phone, pressed a button and the following happened:
B: “Hi honey. Hope you’re having a good afternoon.”
G: “I am.”
B: “…I’m off to a meeting and wanted to let you know…”
G: “uh huh”
B: “That I won’t be back at my desk for an hour.”
G: “Ok!”
B: “So if you call me back you’ll have to leave a voicemail.”
B: “I love you.”
G: “Love you too.”
And then I had the realization that I was listening to and having a full conversation with a voicemail message. Yes, yes I did. I fell over on the floor laughing and my sister nearly peed her pants.
Second brain fart moment occurred about 2 weeks after S was born. I can blame this on SO many things…
It was about 8pm and B wanted me to have some time to shower and relax. S was asleep for the moment, so I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower almost as hot as I could get it. I took off my clothes, walked in, shampooed my hair, washed it out and stood there for a few minutes enjoying the silence and warm water. I then proceeded to pick up the conditioner, squirt it into my hand and condition…my boobs.
That’s right. My boobs. I didn’t think about it while I was doing it. It wasn’t until I didn’t like how it was coming off of my skin that I realized what happened. Needless to say I busted out laughing in the shower and laughed until I was done, dressed and in the kitchen telling B what happened.
Whoops.
Filed under: Group Topics, Related to Baby | 1 Comment
Tags: mommy brain, pregnancy, silly pregnancy stories
Changed.
Last week the amazing Sara wanted to know what book/song/movie changed my life and why…This is a super, super hard one for me. I mean, music has been basically my whole life for years.
My first answer was to scream “Tori!!!” at the top of my lungs. You all know why. But screaming that would be so vague. It would never answer the question…
So more specifically my answer is one of two songs. Either “Baker Baker” by Tori or “Space Dog” by Tori.
I bought my first Tori record in 1988 from a little record shop that used to exist on Northwest Highway in Edison Park, where I grew up. I was nine years old and I walked out of that store with a 12″ album featuring a woman who had the hair of Stacey Q but the face of someone much more interesting. I have no clue why I picked up that record that day, but it was the first album that I purchased with my own money AND picked out all by myself. That single moment was defining for me, as it started what would turn into a lifelong Tori Amos obsession.
Her album “Under the Pink” came out while I was in high school and I remember being beyond excited to have my Mom drive me to Best Buy so I could pick up the CD. My Mom didn’t do much for me back in those days but she always seemed to understand my deep appreciation and love for music. We went, I bought the CD and listened to it on repeat for at least a good year. That’s right…at least a year.
I remember sitting on the cream colored carpet in my bedroom, back up against the side of my bed, head tilted back against the mattress and eyes closed. I remember it as if it were yesterday. I can smell my old room which was always a nice contrast against the rest of our house that always smelled like my Mom’s smoke. I can remember the feeling of that carpet against my skin.
When Baker, Baker came on, I cried. And still, to this day, I cry each and every time I hear it.
“Baker Baker, baking a cake. Make me a day. Make me whole again.”
And then comes Space Dog…That song will forever remind me of one huge day that changed my life when I was a junior in high school…The day that my first ever girlfriend and I had our first official date at a coffee house in Libertyville. The song played in her car and I realized that I never paid full attention to it until that moment.
There really isn’t more of a back story to that, as the reasons why it changed my life are pretty apparent. I still smile every single time I hear it. Quite the contrast to Baker, Baker.
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Tags: song, tori amos
I’m an idiot.
Today is Friday and our blog group post is due on Wednesday. I logged into Facebook today to see if anyone had chosen a topic.
Wait, dumbass. YOU chose the topic. YOU chose it before Wednesday and YOU’VE been sitting here this entire time waiting? Apparently the craziness of life has gotten to me…that and the fact that I’m convinced I suffered some type of brain tissue loss at some point during my pregnancy. Hmph.
So the topic that I chose for this week was, “If you could change one thing you’ve done (or not done) in your life, what would it be and why?”
It is so difficult to answer this question without thinking about the chain of events that first lead up to the decision or the chain of events which followed. As most people will say, all of the terrible decisions that I’ve made in the past brought me right to where I am today…and this place is pretty amazing. Truth is though, I still would go back and change some of those things hoping that my life still would’ve turned out the way that it has. If I truly believe that B and I were meant for one another, then regardless of what decisions I would go back and change if I had the chance, we still would’ve found one another. So…
I would’ve admitted what was going on in my home to my most favorite teacher during high school when I was prompted for the answer. Without going into the nitty gritty, my life at home wasn’t the greatest or the most healthy. Actually, to say that it was at all healthy would be a total misrepresentation. My home life was terribly unhealthy. It was bad. It was bad to the point where I created this entire world in my own head to escape what was going on at home…and I tried to convince everyone else that my world was reality as well. There were a few times when I was a teenager where the police were called on my parents, where the school was notified, etc. But because my parents had such incredible control over me in every single way, I always kept my mouth shut. I always protected them instead of myself. I would definitely go back and change that.
I’d like to think that if I went back and changed just that one thing, my Mom would’ve been in a position where she needed to get herself some help. Maybe, just maybe, if she would’ve done it then…Well maybe S would have a Grandmother.
She wasn’t at the hospital when he was delivered.
She never came to visit.
She never sent a card.
She never called to say congratulations.
…And she’s never met him.
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Seasons.
This week’s blog group topic is courtesy of Mr. Greg. He asks, “So what is your favorite season and why? What memories does the weather draw up? What are your favorite favorite season activities?”
My favorite season is fall. I find it incredibly romantic. There’s something about the changing leaves and crispness in the air that just makes me want to put on a cozy sweater and walk through a forest preserve with B, hand in hand. It makes me want to leave the windows open, cuddle underneath a big blanket and listen to the wind blowing through the trees. Not to mention that my favorite holiday of all time is (and has always been) Halloween.
B proposed to me on Halloween of 2006.
One year later on Halloween of 2007, we were packing up every single suitcase that we owned plus 7 gigantic boxes to leave for Mexico the next morning…for 2 weeks…for our wedding and honeymoon.
The following year on Halloween of 2008, we were awaiting the arrival of our niece and nephew, who ended up entering this world just a few days later. We went to a haunted house with me dressed up (and speaking like) a redneck man, complete with flannel button down opened to a t-shirt with naked ladies, a florescent orange trucker hat, cowboy boots and ripped jeans. I wore a fake mustache and tucked my hair up. We went out in public and I was rude, inappropriate and deserving of a swift kick in the mouth. It was AWESOME.
And Halloween of 2009? We were back at the same place where we got married in Mexico for our babymoon and I was about 4.5 months pregnant with S.
When I think back about Halloween, I remember myself walking around my old neighborhood in Chicago in a Luke Skywalker costume. It was one of those vinyl costumes from the 80′s with the plastic mask that you purchased in a cardboard box with a clear top. Check out Luke Skywalker here, and then imagine a little me running around in it. I did NOT want to be Princess Lea. I wanted to be Luke Skywalker. That should’ve been a sign early on…but anyways…I remember walking up and down the block with my sister, getting candy from our neighbors. It’s one of my only happy memories of my childhood, sadly, and I’m not even a big Star Wars fan.
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Slacker.
I’m a total slacker. I saved last week’s blog entry as a draft and had every intention of publishing it but never followed through. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I’m insanely busy. Things in our house is insanely busy. Things with my business is insanely busy. I’m running on empty and trying to figure out how to handle that. Here’s what the past week has held for us:
Mr. S had his formula changed again because he seemed to be spitting up much more than normal. Of course the pediatrician put him on the most expensive formula on the market that smells like rancid Goldfish crackers and stains everything it touches. Everyone forewarned us that the formula tastes bad to babies and that there was a high likelihood S wouldn’t want to take his bottle. Lo and behold, he LOVES the formula…but after 5 days on this stuff that is supposed to be the cure-all, he’s throwing up again. Poor kid.
B has been working crazy hours, even on the days that she works from home.
I have been working an insane amount and am completely behind in what I’m needing to do.
Our dog ended up at the vet because of an ear infection. Little did we know that she had a ruptured inner ear membrane which was found during her teeth cleaning while she was under anesthesia. Spending $800 at the vet in under one week really truly sucks.
And the weather is crappy. Crappy weather always puts me in a not-so-great mood.
And tomorrow is Wednesday. Shit. I need to check and see if we have a group topic!
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Object.
This week’s group topic comes courtesy of Ms. Shara who asked, “What is your favorite inanimate object and why?”
This is a hard one for me. I know, it sounds silly…but it really is difficult! You see, there’s a story behind almost everything I own. I’ll put together a brief list and try to keep it short.
#1 would have to be my engagement ring/wedding band combination. They’re beautiful and shiny, but obviously that’s not the reason. I will never, in a million bazillion years, forget how both of them were given to me. B’s proposal was incredibly romantic, thoughtful and shocking since I had absolutely no idea. I’ll never forget her down on one knee. I’ll also never forget her slipping that wedding band on my finger at our wedding! Oh how I wish I were back in Mexico right now.
#2 is my necklace for S. There’s a charm that has his name, a charm with his birthday and a small charm of his birthstone. When I wear it I feel so proud…and I also think back to before we had him and I picked out this necklace, so excited to wear it!!
#3 would have to be my cameras. They allow me to help support my family and they also allow me to see life differently every single time I use them. I appreciate that. This world is way, way, way too serious and way, way too messed up of a place. Through my cameras, this world is a fun and gorgeous place where babies always look peaceful and kids will never know what lies ahead of them.
#4 is my teddy bear who I have has since the 2nd grade and still sleep with. I’m not at all embarrassed by it at all. He was my safety as a kid…and still is.
#5 would be my Taylor guitar. It was my 30th birthday present from Brooke and playing it makes me super happy. The first time that I ever played a Taylor was in 1997 at a small music store in Mundelein. I went on my way home from work and sat in the store playing that damn 614ce for hours. Then I went next door to the smoke shop and bought some rolling papers…but I digress. Since that day in 1997, I’ve been obsessed with Taylor guitars and always made it a goal of mine to own one eventually. Brooke surprised me with my guitar on my big birthday, 12 years after I had first played one. Now that’s the only guitar I’ll bust out when I’m feeling the urge to play. The rest of my guitars sit in my closet, neglected.
I could go on…and on…and on….but I won’t.
Although as I sit here, it’s tempting. I’m seeing quite a few inanimate objects in my office that I could write about.
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One Month.
This week’s blog topic came courtesy of Meghan.
The question? “Who would you trade places with for one month?”
My answer is simple.
The incredible, all-powerful Oprah Winfrey.
I know, I know. Most people find her supremely irritating. B does. She can’t quite understand how I’m so obsessed. Funny thing is that I don’t watch Oprah on a daily basis. I’ve only sat in her audience once. I don’t subscribe to her magazine. I don’t follow every single piece of advice that she gives, I don’t eat at her favorite restaurants and I certainly don’t use her fashion tips.
You see, Oprah is one of the most powerful business women in the history of business. She has created this empire that cannot be matched by anyone. It’s not the money and it’s not the fame that I would want for one month – it’s the motivation, the business savvy and the ability to help billions of people in such a short time frame. Think of it this way – there are millions of people who watch her talk show on a daily basis and when the topic of said talk show is something inspirational or something thought provoking, look at how many people she’s touched. When her topic is something disturbing or frightening, look at how many people she’s slapped in the face with reality. When the topic is something that has to do with a celebrity guest or showering the audience with presents, look at how many dreams she’s made come true. Seriously, Oprah has the power.
She has a crazy successful talk show. A super successful magazine. A book club. And soon she’s going to be running “OWN”, the Oprah Winfrey Network. On a business level, she’s a genius. And as a business woman myself, and successful on a normal person level, I appreciate what she’s done and what she has the ability to continue to do.
If I were in Oprah’s shoes for one month, here are some specific things that I’d do:
First off, let’s examine how many people are in Oprah’s audience. The estimate? 225. Now remember that episode where she gave cars to every single person in her audience? Let’s say that she got ‘em at a discount for $10,000 per car. That’s $2,250,000 total spent on cars. Okay…Now the first thing that I’d do would be to clear out the audience for her “Favorite Things” episode. Instead, I’d search Chicago for five of the most needy families and yes – I’d be specific. No alcoholics who can’t keep a job, no families who spent all of their money on frivolous purchases. Needy families. Families that can’t get their head above water no matter how hard their tried. Families who don’t have the basic essentials. I’d bring them into the audience and I’d budget out $450,000 per family. I’d buy each one of those families a house in their neighborhood, make sure it was safe and fill it with furniture. I’d fill their closets with clothes and their pantries with food. Unlike Extreme Home Makeover, I’d pay for the house itself and the land so that there was no mortgage…and I’d also make sure to prepay a few years of property taxes. I’d give five families a fresh start.
Then, selfishly, I’d sit in her office for hours on end, picking the brains of all of her business associates. Keep in mind that I’m assuming Oprah has an office. I’m sure she works from home with someone feeding her grapes and fanning her. I’d feed her grapes. I’d fan her. But I’d also pick her brain and get every single piece of business advice that I could get while I was doing it.
Thirdly, I’d redesign half of the crap in the gift shop across the street from her studios. Some of it is appalling yet people still buy it. I’d lower the prices too…
Fourthly…I’d open up a “Gen’s School for Kids” in the United States to match her “Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy” in South Africa. Since Oprah is based out of Chicago and so am I, I’d build the school here. Yes, Chicago has some incredible private schools that are a fortune to get into such as Parker and Latin…But the Gen’s School for Kids? It’d be application based (but NOT application based upon the parents’ income or status in the city) and completely tuition free for the parents (who, mind you, would have to be upstanding citizens). This school would have educational, athletic and creative opportunities for kids unlike any other school in Chicago. Even after my reign in Oprah’s spot, the school would become so popular that Oprah herself would have to open up magnets all across the state.
Fifthly, I’d contact the corporate headquarters of Target and have them close a store for me for the night. I’d have my minions go in, buy every single roll of toilet paper in the store, unpack ‘em all and distribute one roll to as many households as possible. Sometimes it’s nice to have an extra roll of TP when you least expect it.
Sixthly, I’d bump her scheduled guests and change her topics for the month I was in her place. My topics would include: “How to be a respectful human being”, “Why people with serious mental health issues should get the help that they need”, “The sanctity of marriage isn’t compromised by my wife and I, but instead by people like my parents who have each been married four times” and “Just because they make an article of clothing in your size does NOT mean that you should wear it.”
And lastly, I’d do something totally selfish other than picking the brains of her business associates. I’d hire an entire roster of musicians for my 32nd birthday and prepay for my party. Then I’d invite Oprah, since technically she was the one to have paid for it. I’d have my very own chair right next to Tori’s piano bench (I mean, I have her tattooed on my leg…of course she’s the headliner!) and I’d float off into my own little world during her performance…and it would be magical.
Because that’s what Oprah does. She creates magic.
(And on the current cover of her magazine out at the stores right now, she’s one sexy piece…Seriously.)
Filed under: Group Topics | 2 Comments
Tags: blog group, O Magazine, oprah, OWN
A day of firsts…
Today was the first day that I:
1. Told B to grab me a shirt in a large at Loehmanns without following it with an entire monologue about how big I am.
2. Had to worry about much clevage I was showing at a 4 year old’s birthday party…and I was just wearing a normal tank top.
3. Had a moment with S after feeding him his bottle where we just stared at each other for a good 10 minutes and I could actually “see” that he loves me.
4. Told B not to put chocolate in the cookies that she was making.
5. Went into the Apple Store for a cord and came out with JUST a cord…and didn’t spend 30+ minutes playing with anything.
6. Had an actual Mommy conversation with a complete stranger.
7. Did NOT eat an entire piece of birthday cake when it was offered to me.
8. Am actually contemplating opening a bottle of wine at home and having a glass for dinner.
9. Did not hit 10 total things when attempting to make a list.
Filed under: Random | Leave a Comment
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